Carl called again. Carl checks in via phone throughout the week, every week. I hope someone takes Carl's phone away. He says "Howdy." One word followed by complete silence. Carl does this a lot.

I bought a house down the road from his house almost a year ago. All the neighbors know one another so Carl regards this communion, this happenstance proximity gives him permission to take over telephone lines like Carl is the most diminutive Stalin in history.

So what did Carl have to tell me this time? Excitedly he asks me to come by; he had something very exciting to show me. Excuses bounce off him like he's superman. I walked to Carl's house

His yard is as boisterous as Carl. As I approach I recall that his yard always features season-appropriate decorations. It's spring now and so what does he have propped up? A large, decorative bunny. Gaudily it greets me as I approach his front door. Carl pops out his door before I am able to ring the doorbell. grabbing my shoulder he takes me past his porch awning. He stares upward. I follow his lead. We're both looking up. I wait.

"See that?" he asks. Nope. "It's a brand new gutter cover." Wonderful. I respond, barely hiding my sarcasm. "It's awesome". He tells me the seamless cover prevents debris from clogging everything, which reduces how often I have to clean it." And Carl, finally, was actually onto something.

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